The Light on the Porch

     It was -14 F this morning. Though it was painfully cold and painfully early, I set out to ferry my son to AP Physics lab. I stepped into the crunchy, snow laden yard and I realized I was not alone. I heard the noise of hoofs and the squeak of calls. I heard branches bending and I heard snouts snuffling. Deer?  The light from the porch gave me just enough back light to peer into the darkness.  Elk. Big elk. A large group of very big elk on my driveway!  I pushed the automatic opener on the barn door; they were spooked and trotted across the road.

God saw that the light was good and he separated the light from darkness.

     I have been studying the book of Exodus and it actually ties in nicely with my frosty wildlife experience.  God set many a plague upon Egypt. He punished the Egyptians to illustrate His power and dominion.  He spared the Israelites to show His faithfulness. The Lord made the Nile turn to blood, he sent frogs, locusts, revolting boils, razor sharp hail, unrelenting gnats, gruesome livestock diseases, darkness and the death of  firstborn Egyptian sons. While the scope of these plagues is impressive, there is one that stands out to me: darkness.
     I am struck by the sheer power of the metaphor. For me darkness symbolizes a world without the light and presence of God. True, the other plagues are full of physical agony, but a world without light is a world without hope. In Genesis the first day of creation is all about light.  Genesis 1:1-4  reads: "Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.  And God said, let there be light and there was light. God saw that the light was good and he separated the light from darkness."
     In the book of Exodus,  the plague of darkness precedes the deaths of the first born Egyptians. There is a parallel of darkness at the crucifixion, "from the sixth hour to the ninth hour darkness came over all the land." This darkness and, the accompanying earthquakes, terrified onlookers and caused them to exclaim," Surely he was the Son of God.". Jesus himself said, " I am the light of the world.Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)
     When I stepped out into the cold, darkness this morning, I faced an unknown presence in the yard. But the porch light glowed softly right behind my back and I could see what I needed to see.  I wasn't afraid and in that moment, God whispered into my heart: "I have your back. I AM the light. I am faithful and I will equip you for unemployment, motherhood and yes, even elk." Sometimes a whisper is more convincing than a shout.  May you walk in the Light.

Thanksgiving at Taco Bell

     My church, Mountain Life, has been looking at the book of Philippians. The series is entitled: "Big Picture Living".  This week was about "Living Strong in His Strength."  In the reading Paul notes the he has known both plenty and lack in his life. (Philippians 4:12)  Pastor Scott Fine challenged the congregation to think about contentment in this advent season.  It got me thinking about a day when my son was only three years old.
     We had just moved back to Virginia from Japan. We were having lunch at Taco Bell. My son had eaten and was fast asleep on my lap. I was nibbling on my burrito and chatting with my husband. I looked down at my son. He was so peaceful and beautiful.  My heart simply could not hold more love. In that moment I knew that I understood contentment. I was fed, warm and surrounded by my little family.  I have revisited that moment many times over the years, especially when my wants try to take precedence over my true needs.
      I have returned to my "Taco Bell" moment several times since my husband got laid off. It reminds me that I am just as content now as I was that day.  All of us are healthy. We have shelter, water, food and warm clothes.(Thank you Jesus, because it was 16 F this morning!)  Most importantly, I have my little family.

Hanging out with my boys.

They mean more than anything else and I am deeply grateful.
     So this Thanksgiving I am focusing on abundance. My needs are met and my life is overflowing with friends and family that love me for who I am.   I am thankful for these gifts and for "Taco Bell" moments that remind me of what really matters.

Friends Are True Wealth

A Message from the Heart.

     I recently traveled back east to visit some very dear friends.  When I returned, I found the above message from my husband.  Like many people, we are keeping a sharp eye on our budget. Yet, we decided that going to see my friends was worthy of cuts elsewhere. The return on my trip was immeasurable.
      I did not sight see.  I visited.  I sat and drank warm beverages and chatted. I ate and I slept. I was refreshed by the company of those I know well.  There is a deep peace in being accepted and understood; this is often found in the company of dear friends.  New clothes, phones, jewelry and "stuff" will eventually break or go out of style. Memories of my trip continue to delight me and the connections with my friends will never go out of style.  As Plautus noted: "Where there are friends, there is wealth." 

Thoughts on Tree Trimming

Seriously, my husband loves that new chainsaw.

      My husband is trimming trees in anticipation of the snow.  The last thing we need is a snow laden branch crashing onto the new roof. My job is to tidy up all the branches. We plan to coordinate a debris burn with the local fire department. All this trimming and hauling got me thinking about the organic metaphors in John 15.
     John 15:1-2 states, " I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes."  When I read this my first thought is:  I feel pruned enough, can we stop now?  The last year and half have literally brought me to my knees.  I am ready to do whatever God wants.  So,  I am hoping I can move onto verse 7:   "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you."  Because Lord, I am not even asking for a job for my husband anymore.  I am praying for his highest spiritual good and whatever will serve your purpose. Amen.
    The branch pile is big.  Sweet Jesus, I hope I don't have that much debris in my soul...I don't have enough lifetime left to clear it! I do like the metaphor of clearing out though.  If we clear out the dead wood maybe we leave room for the Holy Spirit to create something new and beautiful.  I can't be sure, but that's my metaphor for today. Peace to you.

John 15:6: "If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers."

Ninja Mom and The Very Steep Hill

     I live in the mountains of Utah.  My neighborhood is at about 6500 feet above sea level.  This is excellent news for future road races out of state.  Until that time, my hilly running route serves to fortify my heart and challenge my ideas of what is possible.  "The Hill of Death"  is a centerpiece of my training.

"The Hill Of Death" looking up

     I baptized the hill, The Hill of Death, due to its incredible, icy winter nature. If that hill is icy in just the right way you are going through the intersection whether you want to or not.  It takes some fancy winter driving to stay out of the adjacent field. As it happens, the challenges of driving the hill pale compared to running it.

Easy on the downhill, you can end up in the field below!

     When I run this hill, I become prayerful.  Neighbors are apt to hear phrases like, "Lord have mercy" and "Holy God!" springing from my parched lips. On the inside I am uttering words that would make a sailor blush. So if you see me running, please do not confuse desperation with holiness! This morning when I ran the hill, I started thinking about difficulties in our lives.  Oftentimes, when things are good, I forget to be grateful.  But when things are tough, I become one prayerful gal.
     Suffering is the classic theological question.  How can a good God let his people suffer?  How can good people forget to say thank you?  Challenges make me realize I need help.  Whether it's the "Hill of Death", a health crisis or a family problem, hard times remind me of what's important.
     Do I welcome challenge and suffering?  Hardly. I am not that spiritually evolved. However, I am more aware of the many graces and gifts that come my way.  So I say this: Take on the Hill.  It's okay to swear a little, but hold fast to prayer. Maybe the prayers of our desperate times will become the habits of our lifetimes. 

Snowy Running and Surprise Gifts

     This morning I did my 5 mile run.  It was windy and snowy.  Did I mention it was snowy? As I ran, or rather jogged along, a flurry of thoughts passed through my brain. Surprisingly, not all of my thoughts were weather related. It occurred to me that running is very much like life.

Being swift is good, but Ninjas must also be persistent.

      Ecclesiastes 9:11 reads, " The race is not to the swift."  Excellent news as my sprint would be considered another's jog or walk.  Here, I am talking about running but also spiritual progress.  It takes me a long time to learn a lesson.  In fact, I have encountered the same circumstances many a time before changing my stubborn ways, but God is persistent. Psalm 97:10 reminds me, "for he guards the lives of his faithful ones."  Notice here, it does not say perfect or swift; it says faithful.
     As the snow blew in my face, I thought about the difficulties that come up in all our lives.  Job loss, illness, separation and discord are scattered across our paths.  When these things happen, where does help come from? "I lift my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of  heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip; he who watches over you will not slumber;"  (Psalm 121:1-3) If I really integrate this belief into my being, I will not have cause for anxiety.  The LORD does not sleep and He watches over me.  However, this does NOT mean we will be free from suffering and trials.
      In fact in James 1:2-4 we learn that God sees trials as purposeful.  "Consider it a pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not -lacking anything." If I am honest, I would tell you that I have learned more over the last year and a half than I have in any other time in my life. So much in fact, that I now see my challenges as teachers. Believe me, I would not have said this before. I now understand some of the things that God has been working on all along.
     When you run a half marathon, you have to do the training to be successful. Spirit training demands the same diligence.  As I shuffled up the big hill (twice) today, I thought about the last year.  My challenges are like that steep, imposing hill, painful to go through, but great when you get to the top. Isaiah 40:31 offers encouragement: "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run but not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
     I believe this is true and I am glad that His blessing also covers walking.  I may be doing some walking during my half-marathon, but I am grateful for good health. A year ago I could not walk a mile without sitting down.  1 Corinthians 12:4 says, there are different gifts but the same spirit.  Who knows, maybe one of my gifts is perseverance? Be blessed.

Hiking a Middle Rainbow

     The air was misty. I stepped onto the porch and started walking to my car.  The I saw my second rainbow of late. I could see the ends, but the middle was buried in the clouds. I longed to see the middle of the rainbow, just as I long to see God's plan for me.  Addison Road's song, "Change in the Making" really speaks to my current situation:
                                                 This is redemption's story
                                                 With every step that I'm taking
                                                 Everyday you're chipping away
                                                 What I don't need
                                                 This is me under construction
                                                 This is my pride being broken
                                                 And everyday I'm closer to who I'm meant to be
                                                  I'm a change in the making

Ready to hike?  Let's go!

  Genesis 9:12-13 reads :  And God said, "This is a sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come:  I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth." Our God is the Majestic Creator of the galaxies, the planets and the spectacular beauty of nature. He is also our faithful, personal God.  I have a sneaking suspicion that the miraculous is more common than we believe.   I am hiking a challenging path.  It's steep in parts, but it does have breathtaking views.  My backpack has tissues, lip balm, water, snacks and a photo of my son. There's something rolling around in the bottom. It's round. It's tiny. It's my faith, the size of  a mustard seed.  It may be my most fragile, most important asset.  Tolkien wrote: "Not all who wander are lost."  Carry on.

Don't forget to bring the  faith.