I have been out of commission with a bad virus this week. I went to the doctor to keep my viral self from morphing into pneumonia. (Although I am a nurse, it is very hard to listen to your own lungs!) I have spent the better part of the week hacking and struggling to breathe. I have been so uncomfortable in my body that I could not sit still. It got me thinking about the interface of our spiritual and physical bodies.
I've seen many a movie where the loved ones tell the dying, " You can go now, it's OK." Until the other day, I never really pondered the necessity of this gesture. If I were dying, and my son needed me, I would hang on as long as I could. I know this because I know how stubborn I am. I am sure that eventually the body would give out, but I believe the spirit has some say.
When my grandmother was dying she said, " I'm scared." What did I say? I said nothing. I regret this and I regret it deeply. It would have been better if I had said, "I would be too" or " I understand" or well, anything would have been an improvement over my non-response.
Next time, when a loved one is dying I'll do things differently. I will reply and I will honor that very delicate place where body and spirit meet. If a soul is ready to cross over they need support and faith. I believe there's life after death. Do I understand the nature of it? No. Do I believe there's part of us that endures? Yes I do. The awkward part about having loved ones die is we tend to make it about us. Their illness and departure is about them. When they leave, our loneliness and sorrow is about us. There's a time and a place for both. Next time, I'll do a better job. May peace, mercy and compassion be yours.
I've seen many a movie where the loved ones tell the dying, " You can go now, it's OK." Until the other day, I never really pondered the necessity of this gesture. If I were dying, and my son needed me, I would hang on as long as I could. I know this because I know how stubborn I am. I am sure that eventually the body would give out, but I believe the spirit has some say.
When my grandmother was dying she said, " I'm scared." What did I say? I said nothing. I regret this and I regret it deeply. It would have been better if I had said, "I would be too" or " I understand" or well, anything would have been an improvement over my non-response.
Next time, when a loved one is dying I'll do things differently. I will reply and I will honor that very delicate place where body and spirit meet. If a soul is ready to cross over they need support and faith. I believe there's life after death. Do I understand the nature of it? No. Do I believe there's part of us that endures? Yes I do. The awkward part about having loved ones die is we tend to make it about us. Their illness and departure is about them. When they leave, our loneliness and sorrow is about us. There's a time and a place for both. Next time, I'll do a better job. May peace, mercy and compassion be yours.
No comments:
Post a Comment