For the last thirteen years I have been a stay at home mom. It's nothing I set out to do. It even surprises me. When my husband was in the military he deployed constantly. It seemed sensible that one of us should stay home and give our son consistency and security, and so I did. I was able to help him a great deal. When he had trouble learning to spell, I took cookie sheets and had him make the words out of goldfish crackers. I made up spelling word games. I taught him anatomy from my nursing books. I took him to visit farms and we took long nature walks. Most importantly, whenever Dad was deployed, I was able to offer a tangible anchor, a steady presence.
My time at home allowed me to delve into self actualization. I became a decent painter and gifted photographer. I had the time to take care of recuperating friends and family. I was able to volunteer in myriad capacities. I grew accustomed to scheduling my own time.
Now, here's the bad. My husband lost his job. So after 13 years of staying home, I am looking for a job. My resume looks like Swiss cheese. I know that my years as a military spouse have made me resourceful, determined and a dedicated multi tasker. I have raised a compassionate, intelligent and empathetic young man who is an independent thinker. I am sure the Almighty will say "well done, good and faithful servant," but no one else cares. They don't. I have contributed to society. I have made an indelible contribution that will out last my paltry life, but in the short term, it doesn't matter.
This brings me to the ugly. I am left feeling like I totally misjudged my situation. I thought I was doing a good thing and it has slapped me right in the face. I should never have stopped working totally. I could have at least worked part time. However, it's too late for any of that. It is, what it is. I have a smattering of experience in two very divergent areas, medicine and editing. In this economy no one wants to see that kind of resume. I feel like going outside to the field behind my house and screaming loud, satisfying expletives. ( I am thinking them as I write this). To add insult to injury, I can't sleep. I fall asleep for a few hours and then I am wide awake. You would think that all this awake time would allow me to come up with solutions; it has not.
I am normally a positive person, but I have nothing left. It reminds me of the X-files episode where Sculley says the following about God, " What if we're talking, but there's nobody listening?"
My time at home allowed me to delve into self actualization. I became a decent painter and gifted photographer. I had the time to take care of recuperating friends and family. I was able to volunteer in myriad capacities. I grew accustomed to scheduling my own time.
Now, here's the bad. My husband lost his job. So after 13 years of staying home, I am looking for a job. My resume looks like Swiss cheese. I know that my years as a military spouse have made me resourceful, determined and a dedicated multi tasker. I have raised a compassionate, intelligent and empathetic young man who is an independent thinker. I am sure the Almighty will say "well done, good and faithful servant," but no one else cares. They don't. I have contributed to society. I have made an indelible contribution that will out last my paltry life, but in the short term, it doesn't matter.
This brings me to the ugly. I am left feeling like I totally misjudged my situation. I thought I was doing a good thing and it has slapped me right in the face. I should never have stopped working totally. I could have at least worked part time. However, it's too late for any of that. It is, what it is. I have a smattering of experience in two very divergent areas, medicine and editing. In this economy no one wants to see that kind of resume. I feel like going outside to the field behind my house and screaming loud, satisfying expletives. ( I am thinking them as I write this). To add insult to injury, I can't sleep. I fall asleep for a few hours and then I am wide awake. You would think that all this awake time would allow me to come up with solutions; it has not.
I am normally a positive person, but I have nothing left. It reminds me of the X-files episode where Sculley says the following about God, " What if we're talking, but there's nobody listening?"
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