I stacked the envelopes together. I pressed down on all the stamps, hoping they would somehow stick better. Doing this made the event more tangible. My baby, the same one who had trouble breathing at birth, was graduating from high school. The same woman who vowed not to have children became a stay at home mom. How did we find ourselves at this crossroads? It all started with a loan.
My son was born in the middle of an incredible thunderstorm. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and spent two weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The hospital lost power that first night. I knew that his respirator had a back up unit, so I sat in my dark room and thought. Why would a loving God have me carry a baby for nine months and let this happen? Looking out the window, I cried out all my tears. In the quiet night, I prayed fervently and got an answer. At three in the morning, I prayed again, "Lord, I understand that this child is on loan from you. If I could have him for just a little while, I will do my very best." Thanks to many prayers, and expert medical care, he improved and came home.
I fell short often. As a military wife, I was often a single parent. I got tired. I got cranky. I got on my knees. There were household moves, medical problems and developmental issues. However, God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. (author unknown). I found that all my pre-mothering life experience prepared me to be the best mother for this particular child.
Ephesians 1:11 reminds me that "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." Psalm 121 states it well, "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." I can unequivocally say that I have either known what to do or been provided the answer in God's time. Medical issue? I am a registered nurse. Another move? I am easily amused so why not? The developmental challenges that come with parenthood have been my most challenging. I have screamed into a pillow, exercised until exhausted, prayed unceasingly and taken refuge in friendship. It has NOT been easy, but it IS worthy of my very best effort.
Let me be clear: I am an ordinary woman, but I serve an extraordinary God. Much like the Blues Brothers, I feel that each of us is "on a mission from God." The talents I have brought to this endeavor are also on loan from God. I have been able to use these gifts to make a significant impact on a sweet soul. God has simultaneously used my efforts to buff out rough places in my own soul.
Erma Bombeck sums up my thoughts,"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say 'I used everything you gave me.' Before motherhood, I loved in a very superficial way. Now I have an inkling of how God loves me. I am astounded, profoundly humbled and ready for the next season of growth.
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| Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Lao Tzu |
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| For we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10) |
I fell short often. As a military wife, I was often a single parent. I got tired. I got cranky. I got on my knees. There were household moves, medical problems and developmental issues. However, God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. (author unknown). I found that all my pre-mothering life experience prepared me to be the best mother for this particular child.
Ephesians 1:11 reminds me that "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." Psalm 121 states it well, "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." I can unequivocally say that I have either known what to do or been provided the answer in God's time. Medical issue? I am a registered nurse. Another move? I am easily amused so why not? The developmental challenges that come with parenthood have been my most challenging. I have screamed into a pillow, exercised until exhausted, prayed unceasingly and taken refuge in friendship. It has NOT been easy, but it IS worthy of my very best effort.
Let me be clear: I am an ordinary woman, but I serve an extraordinary God. Much like the Blues Brothers, I feel that each of us is "on a mission from God." The talents I have brought to this endeavor are also on loan from God. I have been able to use these gifts to make a significant impact on a sweet soul. God has simultaneously used my efforts to buff out rough places in my own soul.
Erma Bombeck sums up my thoughts,"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say 'I used everything you gave me.' Before motherhood, I loved in a very superficial way. Now I have an inkling of how God loves me. I am astounded, profoundly humbled and ready for the next season of growth.
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