The Handmaiden's Studio: Blossoms Are Not The Only Beauty

Cool breeze, cornflower sky, puffs of forgiving cloud and a gentle 73 F: Fall in Texas. I was genuinely grateful for the break in temperature. My persistent wish for sweatshirt weather seemed unreasonable and unnecessary. I knelt in the grass and made a plan for the fall pansies. As I scanned the garden, a glint of periwinkle caught my eye.

The newly planted greenery was bursting with icy purple blue blossoms and something more. Tiny buds like unfurled fingers rested on the bush. The tightly wrapped buds circled with their neighbors and formed exquisite, surprising stars.

The word "bud" as a noun is defined as the undeveloped part of a plant. The phrase "Nipped in the bud" means halted at the beginning of development. How many times have I focused on the blossom, or goal, instead of witnessing the beauty along the way? The answer: Most of the time. As a mother, I am a devoted potential monitor. I see the development. I celebrate the progress. I treasure every season. First steps, first friends, reading, bike rides, car drives, graduation, disappointments, triumphs, they circle round to form a life.
My life is no different. As my son creates his own life, I find myself in a new season. There were seasons where I poured all my resources and spirit into my child's dreams. It's time for me to honor the budding stages of my own life. I can learn new things, create art, care for my spirit. I used to think that I was looking for my path. Now I realize that I have always been on it. Motherhood is an essential part of my heart constellation; it taught me the meaning of unconditional love. Instead of criticizing myself for careers not chosen, roads not taken and projects unfinished, my path is one of beauty in the journey. Just as the seasons promise transformation in nature, seasons of life signal changes in us. I claim the bud stage. Blossoms are not the only beauty.