Parenting Is Like Space Jumping

     Felix Baumgartner went into space in a balloon capsule, got into the stratosphere, executed a free fall parachute jump from 128,000 feet (about 24 miles) and broke the speed of sound.  These facts are awe inspiring.  However, there are two facts that inspire me even more:  Baumgartner's trust in mission control's Joe Kittinger and his personal dedication to the mission.
     In 1960,  Joe Kittinger jumped from a balloon that was at 102,800 feet.  Though Felix broke the record for highest balloon jump yesterday, Kittinger still holds the record for the longest time in free fall.  Mr. Kittinger had a successful Air Force career, survived a Vietnamese prison camp and is considered an elder statesman of aeronautics.  Kittinger was Baumgartner's radio point of contact  during yesterday's jump.  Kittinger talked the space jumper through his check lists, calmly insisted on replies to questions and, when the jumper was in the door, told him " our guardian angel will look after you now."  For the parent, the parallels to parenting are profound.
      My son is on the verge of manhood.  We are still in a position to give advice and direction.  It's an exciting time for him.  He's forming his own opinions and deciding what kind of man he wants to be.  I feel good when he bounces ideas off us.  I feel elated when he takes initiative and when he is strong in who he is.

   Like Felix, my son will eventually need  his own fortitude.  The space jumper admits that there were times he thought about giving up on the mission.  There were periods where he had to regroup.  Our lives are like that too.  There will come a point when all our advice, and my son's training, will be called upon.  My hope is that he will leap with both feet.  I pray that he, like Felix, will realize that he is small compared to the world, but that he can still make a difference.  Like mission control,  I am nervous, but confident.  When children use their wings they surprise themselves and inspire others.  I will give up control and watch him soar, but I'll be praying a quiet prayer for  guardian angels too.  

What is Holy Yoga?

     There are many well- known styles of yoga:  Iyengar, Anusara, Bikram, Ashtanga and Kundalini to name a few.  Nomi Morris of the LA Times reviews religious yoga in her 2010 piece "Bending Yoga To Fit Their Worship Needs."  Morris notes that some Jewish yogis center their practice around the Kabbalah or the Torah.   Other Jews feel more comfortable viewing yoga as a solely physical practice.  There is also holy yoga, yoga linked to the Christian tradition.

     Holyyoga.net states that their mission is   "experiential worship specifically created to deepen your connection to Christ."  The practice is supplemented by scripture readings and music.  This yoga style was founded by Brooke Boon in 2003.  

     I have always enjoyed yoga, but this morning I had the chance to try Holy Yoga.  The class was  held in the church sanctuary and soft music played in the background. The instructor started out with brief remarks on being a child of God. At different intervals, she read selections from the book of psalms.  As we did our practice, she highlighted the symbolism of the poses.  Pigeon pose, a  floor pose that involves a bowing motion, can remind us that we bow to the will of the Heavenly Father.  Different heart opening poses can be seen as a physical prayer of opening up to God's love for us.   I left the class feeling limber and peaceful.    

     Some Christians feel that the Hindu past of yoga makes it inappropriate.  Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church (Seattle WA) has said that yoga is paganism.  In a Christianpost.com article, he is quoted as saying that yoga opens the door to demonism.  My experience was a prayerful and moving one, but people need to worship as they see fit. 

     One of my most memorable yoga practices was a Good Friday class.  The class was silent, contemplative and spiritually nourishing.  I see nothing wrong with adapting a practice to your own beliefs.  Buddhism teaches, and science confirms, that nothing in life is static.  People and circumstances are always in flux.  Why should religion be any different?  For me, any activity that encourages us to contemplate the Divine is time well spent.

Refreshed by a Dream Chorus

     I dreamed that I was kneeling by the side of my bed.  I pointed at the ceiling and I said, "I don't understand God, but I believe."  All of a sudden, the room was filled with the most exquisite music I've ever heard.  Hundreds of voices surrounded me and I knew that no matter what my circumstance I was not alone.   I opened my mouth and said "I am grateful", but the voice that came out was a bigger and stronger one than my own.
     This was not just a dream for me.   It was a dream for anyone who feels isolated or alone.  St Francis de Sales was speaking of angels when he wrote, "For without being seen, they are present with you." Just because we don't see everything with our physical eyes doesn't mean that the unseen is not real.  You can't see love, but you know it exists.  Please know that you are supported and loved far beyond our earthly understanding.  Our connections go beyond space, time and geography.  Have courage and walk on faith.

What Sheep Know

     I live down the street from a flock of sheep.  They are Churra sheep.  Their wool is prized by Navajo rug weavers.  I visit the sheep when I walk.  I've seen them when they need to be groomed.  They look like puffy pillows on twig legs.  I've seen them after shearing.  They look smaller and somewhat embarrassed.  These are creatures that are literally afraid of their own shadow, but they know something very important.

     Sheep know that they will do better together than on their own.  This is an instinct that comes straight from the Divine.  No matter what the weather, they rest in a heaping snuggle pile.  They are fond of resting their head on the neck or back of the sheep next to them.  They snuggle up.  They doze and snack.  If a new sheep joins the stack, they simply wiggle their way in and sit down.  The flock adjusts accordingly.
     Human beings are not not as flexible or welcoming.  We could be.  We have the resources and unlike sheep, we have intellect and intuition.  If we take the time to be inclusive, the whole group benefits.  There are family members and acquaintances who have a hard time fitting into the group. When we notice this, we can move over a bit.  We can cede some of our space and encourage them.  There may be a time when we're on the outside and that very person makes a space to let us be.  God gives at least one gift to each creature.  The humble sheep can't fly and he doesn't speak, but he knows the value of being inclusive.  We can learn a vital lesson from our timid, woolly friend.

The World Needs More Jedi

     We recently had a long, and frank, discussion with our son about our expectations.  The details that preceded this chat are unimportant.  Suffice it to say, we believed he could do better.  We were making good progress but then we had a breakthrough.  We told him, "You are a Jedi."

     We do NOT expect perfection.  We DO expect reflection and improvement.  We expect that he will stick up for those who are teased or harassed.  We expect his best effort. We expect him to hold himself to a higher standard.  

     There is light and dark in this world. To pretend otherwise is to be naive.  I don't care if my son is rich in a worldly sense.  I want him to have integrity and to encourage it in others.  I am not saying that the Jedi's way is easy. I am saying that it's right. 

     If it were easy to do the right thing, people would be doing it constantly.  Know that the Divine exists and make a conscious choice to follow it.  Use your powers for good.

Open Window

    Things in my universe have shifted.  Part of this is due to divine providence and part is due to me simply paying attention.  There's an old adage about a man who is stranded on his roof in the midst of a flood.  He prays to the Lord for help.  A series of rescuers comes by.  The man rejects all of their offers.  The water overcomes him and he finds himself face to face with St Peter.  He asks, " Why didn't the Lord save me?"  St Peter replies " He sent you a boat and a helicopter, what else could He do?"
    Sometimes we need eyes to see that the opportunity is right in front us.  We may need to ask for the grace to receive it.  I have been running around like a crazed gerbil, applying for jobs that I could do, but was not really qualified for. I have also applied for jobs I knew I would hate.  The mere thought of some of these jobs gave me insomnia.
      Then I had a revelation:  What would I do for free?  I already do it; I write.  I had a long, tearful conversation with my husband.  He said he wants me to be happy.  He also said he gets angry sometimes because he wants more for me than I seem to want for myself.  Is this a great time to branch out and try something fresh?  Risk is never cozy.  Now is as good a time as any.   So I bought a laptop, applied for some freelance projects and officially call myself a writer.  I have always written, but now it's official, and my heart is SO light.  Energetically, if you do what you love,  the universe supports you.  This doesn't mean everything will be easy.  It does mean you will be moving in the right direction.  I'm walking on faith and it feels wonderful.  His grace is sufficient unto me.

     

Homemaker: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

     For the last thirteen years I have been a stay at home mom.  It's nothing I set out to do. It even surprises me.  When my husband was in the military he deployed constantly.  It seemed sensible that one of us should stay home and give our son consistency and security,  and so I did.  I was able to help him a great deal.  When he had trouble learning to spell, I took cookie sheets and had him make the words out of goldfish crackers.  I made up spelling word games. I taught him anatomy from my nursing books.  I took him to visit farms and we took long nature walks.  Most importantly, whenever Dad was deployed, I was able to offer a tangible anchor, a steady presence.
     My time at home allowed me to delve  into self actualization.  I became a decent painter and gifted photographer.  I had the time to take care of  recuperating friends and family.  I was able to volunteer in myriad capacities.  I grew accustomed to scheduling my own time.
      Now, here's the bad.  My husband lost his job.  So after 13 years of staying home, I am looking for a job.  My resume looks like Swiss cheese. I  know that my years as a military spouse have made me resourceful, determined and a dedicated multi tasker.  I have raised a compassionate, intelligent and empathetic young man who is an independent thinker.  I am sure the Almighty will say "well done, good and faithful servant,"  but no one else cares. They don't.  I have contributed to society.  I have made an indelible contribution that will out last my paltry life, but in the short term, it doesn't matter.
       This brings me to the ugly.  I am left feeling like I totally misjudged my situation.  I thought I was doing a good thing and it has slapped me right in the face.  I should never have stopped working totally.  I could have at least worked part time.  However, it's too late for any of  that.  It is, what it is.  I have a smattering of experience in two very divergent areas, medicine and editing. In this economy no one wants to see that kind of resume.  I feel like going outside to the field behind my house and screaming loud, satisfying expletives.  ( I am thinking them as I write this).      To add insult to injury, I can't sleep. I fall asleep for a few hours and then I am wide awake.  You would think that all this awake time would allow me to come up with solutions; it has not.
     I am normally a positive person, but I have nothing left.  It reminds me of the X-files episode where Sculley says the following about God, " What if we're talking, but there's nobody listening?"