A Hat, A Purse and An Attitude

    My sister sent me this photo.  From the left, it's my cousin Regina, yours truly and my Aunt Adria.  It's the mid 1960s and we are going to church.  There was a time when every proper woman, no matter how small, wore a hat to church.  My Mom wore a gorgeous lace mantilla to Mass.  I had a lace tortilla thing that I wore when I was school aged.  Though the fashion is captivating, it's my attitude in the photo that caught my eye.
     Regina is rubbing her shoe on the sidewalk, doing what she pleases.  Adria is posed perfectly and looks great.   Me?  I am fulfilling the requirement, but openly hostile.  I am not smiling. My gaze is out of the photo, not trained on the photographer.  My facial expression makes me laugh more than the little purse.  ( What does a  three year old carry in her purse anyway?)  My expression says "I am barely tolerating this nonsense and pretty soon somebody is gonna get their butt kicked."  I am no different today, except that I have learned to hide my distaste under a veneer of civility.  It doesn't mean I have become more patient.  It doesn't mean I have become more kind.  It simply means that I've learned to get along in society.  But there's a bigger revelation:  God has known me all along.
      He knows where I started.  He knows my attitude.  Heck, he even knew there was nothing in that little pocketbook!   He also knew there was some goodness in my heart.  He took my weaknesses and  molded them into strengths for the good of others and myself.  He took that sassy attitude and poured it into advocacy for mental health.  His grace channeled my selfishness away from my own desires to the greater good of a constantly moving military family.  To this day, my absolute stubbornness (along with a generous serving of grace) sustains  me through illness and uncertainty.  This is no small feat.
     Isaiah 64:8  reads "We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."  Upon reflection, I see that God uses our very weakness to make something beautiful.  As the Lord said to Paul  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."   For my part, sometimes I feel that the Lord has a wealth of material in me.  Maybe that's not as damning as it sounds. It means he can use my weakness for His greater purpose.   We are all works in progress.  An imperfection in the glaze doesn't make us useless.  It makes us wonderfully human.  Be you and be grateful.